June 2010
To the person who has my stolen iPad
Hi,
Judging by your clumsy attempts to reset my Apple password, you’re currently exploring my iPad. (Congratulations! It’s a beautiful thing, isn’t it? So well-crafted and designed.) Odds are good that, given that both my blog and my Twitter stream are shortcuts (those are icons that are on the main dashboard, dear dull-witted thief), you’ll see this. So I decided to write...
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Burglary
They kicked the shit out of our front door. I mean they really went to town. They had to, given the fact it was double-locked and it is (or was) pretty damn thick. It’s now pretty splintered up. I’ve had to take the day off work to get a new door fixed. I’m sitting here alone in the flat, our front door splintered all to hell, and I’m quietly reading in our lounge. I hear...
I have that Words With Friends Or Whatever
I’m ‘secretdark’. So, yeah.
The Host (2006) →
A monster emerges from Seoul’s Han River and focuses its attention on attacking people.
This is a pretty awesome movie, you guys.
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Summer fruits
She was one of the many urgent, dirty characters who seem to come out in the summertime in west-London. Whether she was one of the area’s many drug-addicts or simply mentally ill, it didn’t matter: she was in the line in front of me at our local grocery and she was taking ages. She’d tried to leave without paying, seemingly absent-mindedly, had accused the server of racism, and...
Steve Martin's Tour Rider leaked. →
If venue is a sporting arena, scoreboards should read, “Steve: 1, Bluegrass: 0”
Kissing girls is easy, like breaking windows.
– I’m rather enjoying Joey (A Softer World) Commeau’s “One Bloody Thing After Another”. It’s not really a horror story - more a touching story involving some broken characters in a strange, horror world. Perfect light summer reading.
Deep in Cupertino
No, no, you’re just holding the phone wrong. Hold it higher. Higher. That’s it. Keep that grip firm. Hmmm, now spread your fingers. Feels good, doesn’t it? The new glass. Feels real good. You’ve been a bad consumer, haven’t you. Now dance for daddy. Dance for Daddy Jobs.
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DC Comics Launch iPad And iPhone App →
Including some Vertigo comics.
I don’t know what you jive-ass mothers are doing today, but I’m recommending American Drink for Tumblr Tuesday or whatever the hell it’s called.
Beautiful, air-conditioned women.
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While I know ‘Super-Freakonomics’ is simply the sequel to ‘Freakonomics’, I can’t help but feel that an opportunity was lost to use the title for the XXX porn parody of the same (‘Open markets so open they’re practically GAPING!!!’).
Uh, I don’t know, Um, I don’t know what to say. I don’t know....
– The last statement of prisoner James Clark just prior to his execution, having been asked whether he wanted to make a last statement.
Texas publishes the last statements of everyone it executes online. It’s morbid, sad, fascinating reading.
(Unpublished) by Leonard Cohen
No one looks like my father but me In the world I alone wear his face And here I am in places he never would have travelled among men who think I am myself…
Via whokilled
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Third Person Thursdays
Ryan was brooding pretty hard. It was something he did often, brooding. He’d stand on his balcony, moustache bristling in the salty sea-breeze, and brood pensively. Mostly he’d brood about the heavy stuff - politics or women or something - all the while running his hands through the manly chest hair just be peeping out of the top of his gown. Tonight was different, though.
“What...
Hot Potato →
I’m trying out another microblogging platform. It’s interesting, in as much as it allows you to categorise what you’re doing (“listening to”, “doing”, “attending” are categories, for example).
Google Earth for the iPad is now available on the app store.
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iPad App Review: Your Mom™
Your Mom™ has long served as one of the few true benchmarks of any new platform. Indeed, while I’ve owned Your Mom™ on a variety of platforms - the NES, the iPhone, and, on one memorable occasion, in a dirty bathroom stall at a bar called “Fingerless Joe’s” - it was with some excitement that I looked forward to owning Your Mom™ on the iPad.
The first pleasant surprise was...
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History lesson
Years ago, scientists wired a rat to machine which gave it an orgasm every time it pushed a button. The rat pushed the button until it died, ignoring both food and water.
Later, the same scientists created the Marvel Comics iPad application.
Hey nerds
Your favourite iPad apps?
Prediction: the whole @Mike_FTW / @BPGlobalPR thing ends up with a Fight-Club-esque ending, only maybe with less (or more) sex with Helena Bonham Carter.
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Wired.com: Japanese Spacecraft Deploys First-Ever... →
The first solar sail ever to be used by a spacecraft has been deployed. Awesome.
My favourite part is with regards to how they deploy it:
The key difficulty with such a thin and large object is that it’s hard to deploy. “The things we’re watching for are all their dynamical behaviors that you ultimately can’t model and that might cause undue stress on the material,” Friedman said. In the...
Say "what" again: Simultaneity →
The first time the man and the dog simultaneously vomited, it was a coincidence, and it was magical.
Read more, because this is a beautiful little story.
There’s a Venn diagram in my head of Facetime and ChatRoulette overlapping and somewhere in the middle of that dangerous intersection there’s money to be made. A lot of dongs on display too, but also money. Somehow.