As I stood waiting on the platform for the train, I noted that beyond my stop it continued on to a place called Hamworthy.
I was already late and due to visit my brother in hospital, but for a brief while I considered staying on the train and continuing on to Hamworthy.
There, I though, I would be able to carefully take the measure of the town and its residents (Hamworthians?) and try to work out what, exactly, made it worthy of ham.
Perhaps it was simply that its people considered themselves all worthy of ham and, in joyous agreement, decided to celebrate this fact. But this then posed the question: if a citizen was deemed unworthy of ham - possibly by committing some slight against the fine meat - would they be expelled?
How would one then determine the exact hamworthiness of a Hamworthian? Was there a Comittee For Hamoworthian Values that made such determinations, perhaps composed of those deemed most worthy of ham?
Most crucially, would I be deemed worthy of ham upon my arrival - given a celebratory lei of ham, kissed quickly and briefly on both cheeks, and shown swiftly to my new, council-provided Hamworth residence?
Or perhaps I would be found wanting, the Committee noting my known public associations with vegetarians, and chased out of town with brooms and ham-bone missiles.
I got off at my stop.
“moon indifference and eternal revenge, that’s our platform”