An exchange
Him: Is that… is that a rape whistle?
Me: No. No, that’s an emergency whistle. It came with my rucksack.
Him: It’s bright metallic pink.
Me: I… I’m in a lot of very fabulous emergencies, okay?
Editor’s Note: I wrote ‘whiskey’ instead of ‘whistle’ twice in the construction of this post. My subconscious knows me far too well.