“Dogs are known for their loyalty, making them one of the most conservative pets. Dogs represent Real America; they are often found on farms in red states and not in cities, where liberal apartment rental agreements often prevent renters from having dogs. Dogs are an important part of family values, as the quintessential American family is often featured with a dog. Dogs also are often used to search out Muslim terrorists, serving America honorably in the army and police forces across the county.
Compared with lazy, entitled cats, dogs represent the epitome of a conservative animal. Historically, dogs earned their role in the home through hard work herding animals and assisting men with hunting. Cats, on the other hand, were worshiped as false idols in ancient societies and do little to earn their keep in the home. Liberals often use dogs to their political advantage - Barack Hussein Obama keeps a dog in the White House. This is clearly a liberal ploy to win over dog owners in crucial swing states. In reality no true dog would voluntarily be a part of the liberal propaganda machine, especially given how many liberals are atheist and the proven link between atheism and bestiality.”