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Scientists looking for the missing 83% of the universe’s mass can stop. It has been found.
It is to be seen in this shape, in groups of 5 or 6, on boyfriends’ sidetables around the world.
It is apparently self-propagating (a single unit can somehow spawn numerous others) and sentient, given to appearing and disappearing at will.
Be warned though: it is hard to detect. The only surefire method I’ve gleaned has been by walking barefoot across a seemingly safe floor.
Science is hard. 

In biology, Bateman’s principle is the theory that females almost always invest more energy into producing offspring than males, and therefore in most species females are a limiting resource over which the other sex will compete. It is named for British geneticist Angus John Bateman (1919–1996).

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By and large, a male’s potential reproductive success is limited by the number of females he mates with, whereas a female’s potential reproductive success is limited by how many eggs she can produce. This results in sexual selection, in which males compete with each other, and females become choosy in which males to mate with. As a result of being anisogamous, males are fundamentally promiscuous, and females are fundamentally selective.

My new laptop has a camera built right into the screen!
Right into the screen!